Setting the temperature

Our invitations to hosts and guests at Hotel Tender.

Tender Hotel is a place of warmth, care, connection, consent and love. We would like you to meet us there. This is the way of the Tender Hotel.

All the room hosts have agreed to hold space in this way. All guests are invited to enter in this way.

There is room for discomfort. There is NO space in Hotel Tender for bigotry, discrimination, exclusion or hate. If these are brought in to any room, guests may be asked to leave, at the hosts’ discretion. 

Our receptionists will be here to hear. 

Our intentions are to facilitate safety, yet we cannot guarantee all Tender Hotel spaces will feel safe to everyone. Please take care of your needs, ask questions and express feelings within the parameters of each space you are in.

Inside Hotel Tender, you are invited to say YES to things you want and NO to things you don’t want. You choose as you desire in the moment.

Consent is:

  • Freely Given (not coerced or pressured – your choices are your own).
  • Reversible (you may stop participating and leave at any point).
  • Informed (unless the room is marked “Squat”, hosts state what to expect in each room).
  • Engaged (everyone in the room has made an active choice to be present and connect).
  • Specific (each agreement is in the here and now).

Please enter and leave the space as you would wish to find it.

Additional particulars:

  • You can leave a room at any time – re-entering may not be possible.
  • Curious Mappers are operating with our consent. Guests’ movements may be noted, with anonymity.
  • If a room is for adults only, we will state this before entry.
  • Content warnings will be provided for subject matter that hosts feel may be traumatic or upsetting. The stimulus aims for connection that may evoke feelings – we invite you to carry those feelings and stay with us, or leave, or speak to the concierge in the Tender Hotel lobby.
  • If you choose to share your experience with others we would love you to credit the Tender Hotel creators and contributors.

Resident Artisans’ activities

Create your visiting plan, please select your time zone.

San Francisco

New York





Through the 24 hours, please always arrive ON the hour (we would really struggle with late arrivals). We then introduce you to the Tender Hotel’s navigation, temperature and provide the links to the off-site facilities. 

Between some activities you can come and go, as you please. Others invite your stay without drop-ins. You can of course depart anytime.

Please, bring your packed luggage (you can find the Tender Packing List below) with the items of which are used in different activities. 

We are looking forward to welcoming you in Tender Hotel at any point, and hopefully frequently during the 24 hours.

Tender Packing List

Things you may wish to bring

Welcome to the Tender Hotel. Below is a packing list for things that may be of use during your stay. 

We put this together for you to start your visit NOW. now.
Right. Where. You. Are.
Let packing be a way to take stock.
We propose this as a ritual moment to mark our initial encounter.

Packing list:

— Teabag
— A tea cup
— A candle
— A special cloth/napkin
— Something scented
— Soap
— Embroidery thread
— Matchbook or matches
— Something that fits in one hand and feels good to hold
— A handful of dirt
— A pen and paper
— A playing card
Joy and Pleasure packet cards (print out the attached) 

Lay everything out. 

Spend some time with the process of collecting – what object companions and memories do you encounter along the way as you source these? 

Re-familiarize yourself with the objects. Perhaps hold them? Smell them? Feel them?
Each suggestion has been considered as a maybe – as an in-case-you-need-it support team of your things – as this might happen, why not? Resource gathered by members of the Tender Hotel team.

Scan me Tender